What is Marriage For?: The Strange Social History of Our Most Intimate Institution

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What is Marriage For?: The Strange Social History of Our Most Intimate Institution

Editorial Review

Will same-sex couples destroy "traditional" marriage, soon to be followed by the collapse of all civilization? That charge has been leveled throughout history whenever the marriage rules change. But marriage, as E. J. Graff shows in this lively, fascinating tour through the history of marriage in the West, has always been a social battleground, its rules constantly shifting to fit each era and economy. The marriage debates have been especially tumultuous for the past hundred and fifty years--in ways that lead directly to today's debate over whether marriage could mean not just Boy + Girl = Babies, but also Girl + Girl = Love.

E.J. Graff had a very personal reason for asking the question in this book's title: she was married in 1991, but in a ceremony legitimized by neither church nor state. Graff and her dearly beloved, you see, are lesbians. But instead of being dominated by agenda, What Is Marriage For? is a playful and informative study of the institution of wedlock throughout history that will appeal to readers outside of its obvious constituency. Chapter by chapter, Graff looks at the legal, sociological, and anthropological assumptions about money, sex, procreation, tribal affiliation, and the pursuit of personal happiness that underlie the concept of matrimony in Western societies. Her eye for the odd historical footnote is especially striking: we learn, for example, that in ancient Rome, marriage vows were exchanged by the groom and his father-in-law, and that--the assertions of right-wing fundamentalists notwithstanding--families were actually far less stable in the premodern era (where as many as 50 percent of all French children lived with a stepparent) than they are today. Graff's conclusion? The rules of engagement have fluctuated so wildly over the centuries that the term "traditional marriage" is something of an oxymoron; same-sex unions are but one of the many ways in which marriage has evolved to meet the changing social dynamics of the 20th century. --Patrizia DiLucchio

Customer Reviews:

• Avg. Customer Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
• Missed the basics
  While E. J. Graff gives a broad social history of marriage, she does not delve deeply enough into the religious history of marriage which leads to errors in her arguments. From her book, one could conclude that the Catholic Church did not consider marriage to be a sacrament until the 13th century. However, Terullian in the 2nd century wrote, "Whence are we to find (words) enough fully to tell the happiness of that marriage which the Church cements, and the oblation confirms, and the benediction signs and... more info
• Interesting Book that Opened My Eyes
  A very interesting book about the history of marriage and what this history suggests for the arguments surrounding gay marriage. It really opened my eyes up that what some call "traditional" marriage is hardly traditional at all in the context of human history where "marriage" took a variety of forms.
• Well done and extremely informative
  The historical overview Graff provides covers not only the institution of marriage itself, but also the wide spectrum of gender roles that have been standard in past Western culture. (For example, the idea that the wife should stay at home didn't occur to anyone until Victorian times brought along industry and 14-hour factory jobs!)
  The author writes a fine history, quoting original sources and backing up her information, in a tone conversational and interesting enough for even a reader like myself,... more info
• A Disappointing Tract for Same-sex Marriage
  What I expected was a well researched history of marriage laden with colorful commentary, humorous ironies, and insightful analysis. What I discovered is a heavy-handed argument for gay and lesbian marriage that is tedious to slog through.
  The author makes much of the fact that a)marriage has always been a strictly controlled institution that generally has financial implications; and b)that the institution has undergone constant, radical change. Somehow, this is supposed to support the thesis that... more info

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